Reflections in a Golden Eye

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. It’s been so dry here lately that the trees have been bribing the dogs. The timing of this post coincides with my cleanup of tonight’s multi-club shindig here in the rec room. We had a good rain during the festivities and I gave some thought to going outside to wash away some of the slime.

We had about eight clubs represented, so about every adult in TackyToo was here. In attendance were the Sons of Liberty, the Sons of the Confederacy, Georgians First, the N.R.A. (which cross-pollinated all of the groups), the Oath Keepers, Family First, Keep God in America, and Mulva brought in her women’s group from The Full Gospel Original Church of God. Despite the kaleidoscope of names, it was a very homogenous group. We started the festivities at 5PM by watching the first Republican debate. The Republican “not ready for prime time players” did their best to not engage the audience enough to dissuade us from our task of getting the potluck supper ready. We ate well and watched and listened to the experts tell us what we had just seen and heard. The pundits felt that Fiorina won. I remember thinking, “how happy is Hewlett-Packard knowing that witch is someone else’s problem now?”. My other takeaway from the “early show” was that if Senator Chickenhawk from the great state of South Cakalaky isn’t careful he’s going to break his nose when that defense contractor he’s brown nosing turns a corner too sharp.

The only way the “varsity” Republican debate could have been any better would be if they had all arrived on stage in a clown car and then magically kept exiting the car until all of the podiums were filled. I am all for diversity, I’m a big believer, but when the difference in the candidates is parsing the nuances of psychosis, it’s a little too shaky for me. From the obsession they all display about the Middle East you would think they were running for President of the United States of Israel. I get Huckabee, he’s a former minister and his interpretation of the Bible, and the End of Days, require a war over Israel bringing on Armageddon. For the rest of the crowd I feel like it’s just the money that the Jewish donors would bring.

Jeb Bush looked like he didn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his nose. Maybe he was dazzled into confusion by his close proximity to Trump. If so, it didn’t seem to effect Walker’s ability to articulate, although I’m sure the short circuiting in Walker’s brain just produces a constant loop and no amount of distraction could break the loop. Maybe the uninitiated don’t recognize what we in the South refer to as a sh*t eating grin. Trump’s facial expressions are limited to the “grin”, a smirk and a pout. The pout is the one that scares me. It’s the look we’ve all seen on the rich kid’s face right before he took his bat and ball and went home because we wouldn’t play by his rules and let him win. Do we want the rich kid to have the nuclear football? Not me.

Whew, I need a shower.

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