Life Is Like A Box Of – Oh, Never Mind

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. We’ve received some much needed rain here the last couple of days, and I believe I’ll take another week of it before I start complaining. I hear over in Athens it’s giving my beloved Bulldogs the opportunity to learn how to throw and catch a wet ball. Better now than against ‘Bama.

As you can imagine, I’ve got a lot of time on my hands, sober time, and that time has to be spent in an area relatively close to Number Two here at TackyToo. There is only so much interaction I can endure with my fellow man before all of my old triggers get set and like old man Pickles I get ready to lash out at my tormenters. I’ve been watchin’ a lot of TV, a lot of TV.

Turns out that there are some shows out there now that are based in the South, some of them filmed right here in Georgia. A few of these shows have developed a cult-like following. I don’t know whether that speaks to the fact that regional differences are not as pronounced as the media would have us believe, particularly the rural areas, or that the stories are so universal in nature that they appeal to all, or, that the strong Southern man as a hero is admired by male and female alike. I prefer the last one, although I suspect number one and two are strong contenders. Rural America is a lot more homogeneous than we are led to believe. For example, the states of Indiana and Michigan have higher Klan memberships than many Southern states. Wherever two or more poor ignorant white people are gathered together they’ll find an excuse to blame their lot in life on another group, and there will a hustler nearby to sell them a sheet, a gun and a lifetime subscription to hate speech. We’ll talk about the Klan another time, sorry I lost focus, it’s the sobriety.

The purpose of this blog is to require me to vent daily about the “burrs under my saddle”  that previously would have built up until I erupted into a bender or other anti-social behavior that required intervention, generally the local gendarmes. My marathon TV watching has allowed me to power-watch three series based in the South that have been universally popular. I’m talking about, “The Walking Dead” based in Georgia, “Justified” based in Kentucky and “Rectify” based in Georgia. Now before I start my rant I would like to say thank you to all of the Hollywood types who have moved facilities here to set more accurate story lines with scenery that is really from the locale they’re talking about. That fine example of Southern Life, “The Dukes of Hazzard” ran for 5 seasons with only 5 episodes of the first season being shot in Georgia. After that, we were treated to views of the California hills, which even inebriated, don’t look like Georgia. To the crews that start here and stay here, God bless you, we appreciate it. That said, we come to the crux of my discord.

Most Southerners develop an ear for accents, and the ones who are well traveled can pick up nuances from East Tennessee to South Georgia. With audial senses so finely tuned that we can confidently tell a stranger “you ain’t from around here, are you?” after just listening to a few words, how do you propose to send in “furreners” to play the leads in our story? I will give “Justify” a near pass on this miscarriage with the exception of the lead, Timothy Oliphant, who was born in Hawaii. The balance of the cast for the most part are from the South, with two members being from Georgia. Now, a Kentucky accent is different than a Georgia accent, but at least the producers hearts were in the right place and used Southern actors to fill roles about Southerners. Mulva rarely had to interrupt “Justify” to say,”what’d he say” after the actor mangled some phrase.

Also, doing a fairly good job with the accents is “The Walking Dead”, but four of the leads are foreigners. The lead, Rick, and the main protagonist, the Governor, are both British as are Maggie and Morgan James. With so many actors waiting tables, couldn’t you employ a couple of locals? Still love the show though, and Mulva doesn’t watch so there are no interruptions.

This brings me to “Rectify”. I totally love the concept, recognize a lot of the scenery and feel a kinship to the character. That said, the main character, Daniel, is from Canada. The hot sister-in-law, Tawney, is from Australia. Again I ask, was there nobody in Atlanta looking for work when this was cast? Please. The killer here, no pun intended, is that Aden Young’s (Daniel) voice coach must have been the guy who taught Tom Hanks to talk in Forrest Gump. Christ on a cracker, the hour long show takes an hour and half to watch sometimes because of rolling back the DVR to try to figure out what he said. If it wasn’t for Teddy, who is from Alabama, we’d lose half of what’s going on.

In summation, Hollywood, hire regional actors, please! There, I feel better.

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