Washed In The Blood

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. In spite of the cloudy, rainy skys, I am basking in the glow. The Bulldogs are heading into their life or death conflict this Saturday, without injuries or incarcerations. Lest you think I am too critical, please look at the rosters of Auburn and Louisville for some of our prior prison fodder. We will be healthy in body and spirit when we take on the interlopers from Tuscaloosa in what will be a grudge match for the ages.

Speaking of spirit, and incarcerations, things have not quietened down at The Full Gospel Original Church of God. Mulva has gotten to where she is just pecking at her meals and I’m afraid if this conflict continues on much longer I may have to get involved. Believe me, no one wants that too happen. This week’s trials and tribulations are primarily centered around the disintegration of the marriage of the Right Reverend Dale E. Bread and his wife Alva. The Nunsuch police, my son Bud Jr., has rightly concluded, that Mrs. Bread will not have to face criminal charges for rousing the snakes before the Reverend started his show. I agree with Bud Jr.’s judicial jurisprudence in this matter. While not exactly the “Christian” thing to do, there is no reason to take the mother of seven children away from their Mom because of a brief spat of anger.

Turns out that forgiveness is one of things the Reverend Bread is needing to work on. After finding out that Bud Jr. wasn’t going to lock up his wife, Reverend Bread had his attorney file a civil lawsuit wrapped around the idea that Mrs. Bread’s actions caused him to lose his job, and therefore injured the Reverend financially. I guess he’s hoping for some sort of verdict that gets him clear of alimony. I reckon he figures paying child support for his seven little ones is going to be punishment enough for his dalliance. The Reverend must be overwhelmed by the prospect of losing his life’s work, his calling, at the same time that his financial burdens are going to skyrocket.

As previously detailed, the Elders of The Full Gospel Original Church of God decided to stop paying the Reverend Bread when they decided to retain the Reverend Helena Handbasket. The Elders had graciously allowed the Bread family a month’s notice before they had to vacate the spacious double wide that is the church’s rectory. Now, Alva and the children have to be out by the end of the month to allow the Reverend Handbasket to move in. The Reverend Bread has already made “other arrangements”. Rumor has it that the Reverend has moved in with the choir director, Ophelia Bottoms. What a pickle.

Speaking of pickles brings me back around to Mulva’s inability to eat. Mulva has just not shown any gusto at the table ever since all of this affair has gone wonkyjaw. Mulva has been lobbying hard that we make a place for Alva Bread and the kids here at TackyToo.

Now, my mind is saying,”that is the Mother of all bad ideas”, but my mouth says, “let me see what I can do”. Mean time I’m trying my best to get everything rented up so we don’t have any spaces. It’s easier to avoid conflict if you can, I believe, particularly with the person that cooks your meals. I’ve got a couple of days to hang the “No Vacancy” sign, or I’m going to inherit a group of freeloaders. It is hard to do the right thing, sometimes. 

Speaking of the right thing, Mulva brought me back this picture of the sign in front of the church. Pretty good advice, I think:

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