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Sweet Hour Of Prayer II

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. I’m happy to report that the weather in our area has just been perfect. It’s such a relief to not be concerned about whether the Whiz O Meter is calling a perfect day with one cloud a “10”, or a chilly day with no clouds an “11”. The weather we’ve been having lately is all perfect, clouds or not.

I did notice that the weather drone announced the resounding success of their year old high temperature prediction program. By giving themselves a five degree shift, high or low, the Whiz O Meter has been 82% successful in predicting the daily temperature for the inaugural year of the program. While the weather drone nearly broke his arm patting himself on the back, he did blurt out what he considered a successful prediction program to be. “At least we’re not wrong all of the time like some folks think”. He seemed so pleased with himself that he wasn’t wrong all of the time that I thought I might send them a letter. Something like, “don’t be too proud, a stopped watch is right twice a day”. I guess I’m not being very charitable in my assessments of the Channel 11 team.

Not judging too harshly, brings us to the theme of this week’s telecast from The Full Gospel Original Church of God. This week’s sermon from the Crystal Palace was based on Matthew:7 1-3, “Judge not, lest you be judged”. It’s a good thought for all of us to keep in mind each day as we go about our daily lives. Of course if you’re in management, or ever expect to get a desired result from a group of folks, you’re going to need to judge a little. I guess the expectation of the verse is that we not judge one another to harshly in our primary relationships. At least that was I got out of the Reverend Helen Handbasket’s service.

The Reverend was once again resplendent in her accoutrement, decked out in a peach colored robe with white sash and gold trim. I think the peach robe was a nice touch, Georgia being the Peach State and all. It was also a good color to offset the Reverend’s fiery red hair. The colors from the flower arrangements complemented the Reverend’s ensemble, and came across beautifully in the high def broadcast. There was still no reveal as to how the Reverend was able to magically appear on the stage as if she xxx from thin air.

The Reverend’s movements and body language seemed to be more pronounced this service than in previous telecasts. It was like she was trying to bring some of that “old time religion” into the sermon. I actually believe I saw her thump the Bible once or twice to emphasis her points as she moved about the stage. I’m wondering if last week’s sermon had caused the Elders to try to rein in the Reverend Helena Handbasket. The Elders may have felt that the Reverend was getting to “social” and losing sight of the core values of the congregation. Hard to know what direction the Reverend is being given without being a fly on the wall in the leadership meeting. 

I, for one, hope that the Elders don’t stifle the Reverend too much, if that’s whats going on. The meteoric success of the church has come about because of the fact that the Reverend is connecting to a broader base than before. Her charisma has brought in new initiates from as far away as Columbus and Charlotte. It’s amazing to see a really big church filled to the brim for an Evangelical service. An Evangelical service that doesn’t promise a transfer of wealth from the rich to the poor like Ted Cruz’s dad delivers, but, a service that preaches the Golden Rule and admonishes us to not get “all judgey”.

I watched the testament of faith with great anticipation. I was curious to see if the Reverend Helena Handbasket was going to “up her game” by working with a timber rattler. The Right Reverend Dale E. Bread introduced a “big boy” this week in his service. It was the first time since the incident that the Right Reverend had tempted fate again. To my utter amazement, the Reverend Helena Handbasket drug what looked like a six foot rattler out of the box, and treated the rattler, and the audience, to a rather fast paced version of the Watusi. As the Reverend placed the rattler back in the box, the choir launched into “Softly and Tenderly”. The aisles were filled with people who wanted to “come home”. It looks to me like they’ve found one.

 

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