Good morning, y’all. I was happy to sit down and minimally participate in our Republican debate potluck supper last night. Trying to catch up a couple of week’s yard work in the one day of sunshine we’ve had was fool hardy on my part. I can see the improvements from my efforts, but I feel the pain.
Speaking of things that involve pain with minimal improvements, let’s talk the Republican debate. I can see the candidate’s debate strategies improve with each telecast. The candidates are more comfortable with each other and the format. Given a very supportive group of mediators, the candidates were able to babble ad nauseum. What I can’t see is any substance behind their rhetoric.
The debate was missing two of the more bombastic personalities, Mike Huckabee and Chris Christie. Low polling numbers relegated the two candidates to the “kiddie table”. It is sad to see them sent down to the JV in one respect. Chris Christie is by far the best politician in the group, with Huckabee not too far behind. Christie and Huckabee may be misguided, but they are not clueless.
It has gotten painful in watching each of the candidates trying to outdo the other for the “most clueless” award. Now, you would have thought Dr. Ben Carson would have been awarded the “most clueless” crown at the start of the season, and then the award would have been retired. In a surprise move to ascend to the clueless throne, The Donald came out swinging this debate.
The Donald – Came out for an immigration plan that was widely held as inhumane treatment when deployed during the Eisenhower administration. Hispanics had their heads shaven and were dropped in remote parts of the dessert to prevent their return to the U.S. Eisenhower tried to remove one million Hispanic illegals. The most accurate number of actual deportees is two hundred and fifty thousand. The fact that we have eleven million illegal immigrants now speaks volumes to the success of the program. BTW, The Donald will be attempting to send back forty four times the number that Ike sent back. The Donald keeps saying the word, “Humanely”. “You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means”.
Ben Carson – it must be painful to be so convinced of your infallibility and have the knaves of the media continue to point out your shortcomings. If the media only knew that the picture of Dr. Carson and Jesus that hangs in Dr. Carson’s house is a self portrait. Doubling down on his anti-abortion stance, Dr. Carson has stated that he didn’t think Hitler should be aborted. I guess we’d just wait for Hitler to be born and then smother him. That’s how right to life works, right?
Carly Fiorina – Got spanked by The Donald, rightly so, for interrupting everyone else all night. Carly is at no loss for an opinion on any topic. Carly has problems with reality and the truth, but no problems with formulating an opinion. Carly chastised The Donald for meeting Putin in a green room, while she had actually gazed mano to mano with Putin in person, in a green room.
Jeb Bush – it’s gotten so bad for him that you feel sorry for him. I mean, I feel so sorry for him I might even vote for him. Let me qualify that statement. I might vote for Bush, if I was a Republican, and I had had both of my frontal lobes removed. I guess that statement was redundant. The Jebber did say he’d travel back in time to kill a baby Hitler. Don’t know if he’d abort Hitler, but he would definitely do the “wet work”, if given the chance.
Marco Rubio – got a big dose of money this week and has now jumped on the repeal Dodd- Frank bandwagon. After the deposit cleared, Rubio has decided that you can’t have a bank too big. Got totally spanked by Rand Paul for being a selective conservative.
Rand Paul – he’s my “a broke watch is right twice a day” analogy. Calling out Rubio on his conservative “creds” was priceless. As Paul pointed out, how can you be a conservative if you don’t apply those values to every aspect of government, especially the military? Paul became the pot calling the kettle black when he did his appeal for a “diversified energy program”. Paul comes from a coal state.
John Kasich – Continues to “cast pearls before swine” and have the swine just muck them up with everything else. Kasich is clearly the most qualified and sensible candidate the Republicans have got. I’m stunned he’s lasted this long. Big money is going to want another mindless twit like “W” for their candidate. Kasich has no chance, but I do appreciate a throw back to what the Republicans of my youth looked like.
Ted Cruz – it finally hit me during one of Cruz’s long winded diatribes. He’s the living embodiment of Montgomery Burns of Simpson’s fame. Listen to him, look at that receding jawline. There’s a nuclear power plant in his future, I can feel it.
Time for my nap. Maybe the sun will come out tomorrow.