Good morning, y’all. Condemned by his own words, the Donald continues to say just anything that pops into his peanut sized brain and expects his audience to accept it as if it were gospel. “Crime at levels that nobody’s seen. You can go to war zones in countries that we’re fighting, and it’s safer than living in some of our inner cities. They’re run by the Democrats. To the African Americans, who I employ so many, so many people, to the Hispanics, tremendous people, what the hell do you have to lose?” This was the Donald’s appeal to people of color to vote for him at a recent rally held before an all white audience. “What have you got to lose?” Let’s start with your freedom and work back to your self respect.
Speaking of self respect brings us back to our retelling of the history of The Full Gospel Original Church of God. After attending services at the Little Church In The Valley, Bud returned home to TackyToo. Bud interspersed his afternoon with watching the TV in the Rec room office and keeping his pork butt basted. As he watched the news items flashing along the bottom of the screen, he made a mental note to throw away the information he had gathered about retiring “in luxury” to Ecuador. Although the earthquake that ravaged the coast of Ecuador caused minimal damage to the capital, Bud didn’t plan on taking any chances in his dotage.
Mulva arrived back home about five. After changing out of her Sunday clothes, she joined Bud in the office for dinner. Bud had supplemented the pulled pork sandwiches with potato salad, cole slaw and potato chips. It was a meal they had enjoyed hundreds of times over the years. Before queueing up the DVR to watch this week’s telecast from the Crystal Palace the couple took the opportunity to discuss the “news” of the week.
Bud and Mulva had been visited that week by their daughter, Melody, who had brought big news to the Lite household. It was Melody’s intention to marry her longtime roommate, Alex, in June. Finding out that his daughter was gay, and getting married, in the same conversation was a bit of a shock for Bud. He handled the news with as much aplomb as he could muster, and no one was aware that he had never suspected his daughter was gay.
The couple had asked to hold the reception in the Rec room, and Bud was totally on board. Bud volunteered to decorate the Rec room in what ever theme the women chose. Bud reasoned there was no point in renting the American Legion hall or some other spot when the Rec room was right there at their disposal. Bud had casually mentioned to the wedding planners that the reception was not going to be the issue. The wedding might be problematic.
Melody wanted to get married at the old church, the Little Church in the Valley, even though the couple could probably fill the Crystal Palace.
“Getting a preacher to marry you guys is not going to be our issue, I think”, Bud had said to the wedding planners.
“Reverend Dale is very beholding to your mom and me”, Bud had related, “Even if Reverend Dale has any personal reservations, I think he’d forgo them in our case.”
“And, from everything I’ve seen, the Reverend Helena would not offer any resistance to performing the ceremony”, Bud had told the group, “Reverend Helena seems to genuinely believe in ‘loving one another as oneself’”.
“Reverend Helena has spoken out against the stupidity of the discriminatory laws being passed by various state legislatures around the South, so I think she’d be on board”, Bud had continued, “In fact, she might enjoy the opportunity to practice what she preaches.”
“No, I think the attempts to roadblock a ‘gay wedding’ will come from the Elders”, Bud had told the wedding planners.
Now as Bud and Mulva sat quietly munching on pork and reflecting on the week’s events, Bud chose to open the topic in a passive aggressive manner.
“It’s a sad thing to say that folks you’ve known all of your lifetime would throw themselves in the path of your child’s happiness”, Bud said, “I think the Elders will try to prevent the wedding because they feel like the wedding is going to cause some irreparable harm to the fabric of the universe or something”.
Mulva continued to chew on her sandwich while she gathered her rebuttal thoughts.
“You know, even here in the mountains, we’ve come to the point that almost everyone will admit that every family has ‘one’”, Bud said, “Most folks will admit that they love dear cousin Michael, ‘even though he never married’.”
Mulva continued to chew while Bud continued to wind himself up.
“I guess accepting gays as equals is just not possible for some folks”, Bud continued, “It’s like they think that anything other than shunning and condemnation is going to make ‘gay’ spread like the flu”.
Mulva continued to chew while not offering any rebuttal to Bud’s assertions. By remaining silent she allowed Bud to think that she agreed with him completely, and in this case, she did. She knew eventually Bud would wear himself out and when the time was right Mulva would get Bud back on task.
“Well, let me just say here and now, we’re going to work this out so that my daughter has the most special day of her lifetime”, Bud said, “Melody will get the wedding she has always dreamed of, if it harelips the Pope”.
Bud reached for the remote as Mulva cleared away their paper plates. She had hoped to offer some commentary to the telecast, but this might be a good night to practice the old adage, “silence is golden”. Bud was wound tighter than a two-dollar watch, any more stimulation might send his blood pressure through the roof. Mulva had no intention to be planning a funeral and a wedding at the same time.