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Abide With Me

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. It’s hard to complain about the cold after watching the movie, “March of the Penguins“, but I will. It’s cold y’all. We’ve gotten a couple of inches of frozen precipitation, and none of it was of the “black ice” variety predicted by Channel 11. Matter of fact, folks seem to be coming and going at will. It seems like there’s not even any black ice on the highway, where it’s supposed to be.

Now, I know the little weekend weather girl misspoke when she predicted “black ice moving into our area”, like black ice was a variety of sleet, snow, or frozen rain. It’s just that I am of the opinion that unless you know what you’re talking about, folks shouldn’t give you a microphone to amplify your message. I mean, just think of it. If the world enforced my standard, how much better would the world be? Not only would we be spared misinformed weather girls, but politicians and televangelists. And that’s just off the top of my head, I’m sure I could come up with more if I studied on it for a while.

Before you give me a hard time for my opinion, or possibly denounce me as a hypocrite, let me point out that my opinion is grounded in Biblical study. Proverbs 17:28 states, “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding”. So even back in Biblical times, they knew that it was better to, “remain silent and be thought a fool, rather than speaking and removing all doubt”.

It is a simple concept, remaining silent, but some folks can’t pass up an opportunity to pontificate. I’m thinking if you asked the Republican candidates about the recent confirmation of Einstein’s theory of gravitational waves, all of them would offer up an opinion. I feel confident that some of the candidates might ask if the proof is a good thing, or a bad thing, and then decide whether to blame Obama for the waves. I bet you dollars to doughnuts that none of the candidates would abstain from the opportunity to talk, no matter how foolish the conversation would make them look. I guess politicians are just gluttons for punishment in that regard.

Speaking of gluttons, the Reverend Helen Handbasket hit real close to home this week in her sermon on Gluttony. I know she’s working her way through the seven “deadly” sins, but she seemed to bang on gluttony with a real relish. No pun intended. The Reverend Helen Handbasket dug deep this week to quote Thomas Aquinas on gluttony, “Gluttony denotes, not any desire of eating and drinking, but an inordinate desire… leaving the order of reason, wherein the good of moral virtue consists.” It is interesting that Thomas Aquinas took the position of gluttony not only applying to personal consumption. I, too, believe the definition is much, much broader.

I have recounted my battle of the bulge many times. In my defense, I feel like I’ve made a remarkable adjustment in having my calories come from food, as opposed to drink. Where I was originally offended by the Reverend Helen Handbasket’s admonitions to curb my appetites, I climbed on board when her sermon went after the wealthy. The Reverend dove right in to the defense of the poor and disadvantaged, against folks who already had “more than their share”. What started as an attack on all of us pudgeos, ended up as a diatribe against the wealthy. The Reverend Helen Handbasket talked the talk of economic injustice as well as anyone I have ever heard.

I mean, she did drag out the old saws, like Luke 18:25, “Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” But what got her over the top was the fine line she drew between the owners of Chevrolets and Lexuses. That’s some hard hitting stuff when your congregation can go out into the parking lot after the service and see who’s going to Hell. I’m definitely giving her two thumbs up on this service.

It will be interesting to see if any of the more affluent members of the congregation were moved to put a larger down payment on their salvation this week. I’ll have to get the final tally from Mulva. There is one thing they’ll know for sure. That heat they’re feeling on the drive home is not just from their electric seat warmers.

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