Month: October 2015

Good morning, y’all. Another gorgeous day here in the mountains. As I’ve mentioned before, I find Fall to be my time of renewal. If I’m going to start a new project, like walking/jogging, I’ll start in the Fall. Don’t know why, maybe it carries back to being a kid and starting school in the Fall. Every Fall you start afresh, new school clothes, new teachers, new challenges.

In the spirit of my “reclamation of Bud” project, I decided that my coiffure could use a little something. Now, I’m not saying I’m going all “Sargeant Carter”, I’m just saying I want to get cleaned up a bit. Problem is, I’m on house arrest, and we don’t have a barber shop, or a barber here at TackyToo. Fortunately, I do have a wonderful wife, Mulva, who is a master at manipulating persons, places, and things to the desired outcome. Mulva was able to get one of the church members at The Full Gospel Original Church of God, who happens to be a barber, to agree to doing a little “missionary work”, by coming here to the park.

Turns out, I’m not the only “shut in” needing a little sprucing up. By the time the barber had arrived their were five of us lined up at our makeshift barber shop in the Rec room. At twenty bucks a head, plus a tip, the barber probably cleared more today than he would have if he’d been at his shop. It was certainly all profit as he was using my roof and power.

Now, there is a deeper point here other than my desire to not look like one of those wacky- doodles on Duck Dynasty. My specific point is that the political candidates seem to be paying lip service to changing our criminal justice system. As pointed out before, and I’m sure again, the U.S. is big on locking folks up. In my case, and I’m sure many others, house arrest is the right answer. I mean you don’t want me locked up in the big house teaching a bunch of new fish the ins and outs of vehicular homicide of a fiberglass bee, do you? The results could be catastrophic for society. What you do want, is letting the punishment fit the crime with the best cost benefit to society. I mean hell’s bells, I’m paying for my own incarceration. On top of that, I’m paying taxes instead of eating everybody elses’ tax dollars. Sounds simple doesn’t it?

There are issues that would have to be worked out, like how the H.A.’s would get basic services like haircuts, and medical attention. I’ve detailed my trials and tribulations getting my teeth taken care of. Not the state’s fault I know, but at least with a House Arrest program, the H.A.’s would be taking care of their own medical expenses as well as any other personal issues like haircuts, pedicures and sunless tanning.

It’s a radical concept I know, but I see nothing but upside. The prison population would be reduced dramatically. Guards could be trained as liaison officers helping the H.A.’s readjust to their new lives. Prisons could be consolidated for further cost savings. The empty prisons could be designated Zombie Apocalypse centers like in “The Walking Dead”. Nothing but upside here.

I meant to touch on my fear of barbers, but it’ll keep for another time. I will say it involves my Grandaddy Lowe and what he called a “strop”.

Good morning, y’all. Another glorious day in the mountains. The twits at channel eleven keep scoring the days as 9’s and 10’s on their WIZZOMETER. Somewhere in the great scheme of things I think they believe that a perfect day is in the eighties, not the seventies. I guess that’s their adjustment for global warming, just add ten to the optimum temperature and call it perfect. Sort of the weather version of sixty is the new fifty. People that believe that haven’t been sixty yet, by the way.

In celebration of a bunch of positives in my life, I’ve  decided to try to turn back the clock a little by exercising. I guess I should say I’m trying a little exercising to see if I can turn back the clock, but you get the point. The ability to wander the full oval here at TackyToo gives me the ability to walk around the park and complete a mile after two laps.

I figure in light of my sobriety, my improved attitude on life, and a ready made “running” path, I should try to regain some of the luster of my youth. I mean, the worst that can happen is that folks will talk and make fun of that “crazy old fool Bud”, but they do that already. I might just as well get something for myself out of the public scrutiny. Who knows, I could wind up in one of those “Masters” thingies if I live long enough. That might actually be the key, by the way. I mean, once you hit ninety, who is left to compete with? You might say time and genetics are on my side.

One of the big decisions about starting an exercise program is determining whose clothing and shoes you’re going to advertise. I chose Under Armour and Merrell. I know most of you are saying, yeah, Under Armour, I get it, but who the heck is Merrell? Turns out Merrell is a mighty fine little shoe company that makes an assortment of zero lift shoes. For the uninitiated, zero lift shoes are what we are supposed to be running in as opposed to those high heels manufactured by Nike, Brooks, New Balance and so on.

Old timers like me remember when the experts at Nike ignored six million years of evolution and decided that we humans needed to run striking our heels first. Each new Nike model came out with a more pronounced heel to facilitate the “perfect stride” of landing heel first and rolling to the toe for the next push off. Ignoring countless knee, back, and ankle injuries, Nike continued to sell more pronounced, more padded designs. Because they were the number one shoe company, Nike drug the competition along with them. All of the sport shoe manufacturers were caught up in the obsession to teach man to do something he’d been doing correctly since climbing from the primordial soup. Nike is now giving up a big mea culpa to runners everywhere for their wrongheadedness, and, they too sell zero lift shoes. Too late for me, I’m afraid, I like my Merrells.

Anyway, I’ve started on my program. Don’t know where it will wind up, but, I know I’ve miles to go before I get there. I will end my procrastination with an oldie, I bet I can keep the beat in my head for a couple of miles:

Good morning, y’all. Another fabulous day in the mountains, made sweeter by the Bulldogs victory. 9 to 6 is some serious old school football. I think one of the announcers said you’d have to go back to 1971 to find a single digit victory for UGA. I guess the offenses have come a long ways in forty four years. Looks like the concept of, “if they don’t score we can’t lose” has been forgotten. I’m showing my age.

Well, one thing that’s not letting any moss grow on it is The Full Gospel Original Church of God. Mulva reports that the Elders no more than got the church setup with all of the audio-visual doodads you find in one of those Baptist superchurches, than the church got an offer to broadcast the sermon locally. Apparently our new pastor, the Reverend Helen Handbasket, is all the buzz. From the Sonic to the Korean nail salon, people are talking about the “other-worldly” feeling they experience when watching the Reverend Handbasket ply her trade.

Seems like the folks new to our church are less demanding about the Reverend Handbasket proving her mettle against the big boys of our religion, the timber rattler. Old Ben may be able to live his days out in retirement without wondering if some fool is going to want to drag him back in front of the bright lights again. I’m happy for Old Ben, but the news of a local broadcast has got some downside for me. According to Mulva, I’ll be able to watch the services from the quiet confines of our little trailer. I had considered the loss of the weekly trips to Wall Mart on Saturday and church on Sunday as part of the “silver lining” that came with my sentence of house arrest. Now I’ll be expected to watch the service and converse with Mulva about its meaning when she gets home. Don’t be confused, I enjoy my talks with Mulva after she goes to church on Sunday. It’s just that currently our talks are more about the personalities of the congregation, rather than the Concept of the Divine Trinity.

This little twist of events is not the only church related issue that has popped up this week. In the spirit of, “doing unto others”, Mulva has had me rent one of our vacant trailers to the Mrs. Reverend Dale E. Bread, our former pastor’s wife. I’m not sure that rent is the right term, as no cash has been exchanged, but Mulva tells me I’m doing the right thing. I guess I’ll just continue “to lay up riches in Heaven”, until I can get somebody on the Earthly plane to cover the charges for her. If it was just the rent it wouldn’t be so bad, but we’re locked into the utilities and at least two meals a week. The Breads were “fruitful and multiplied” and have seven little rug rats running around. I guess you could say the Reverend didn’t cast his bread upon the waters. I joke to conceal my broken heart.

The Bread’s little monsters have thoroughly trampled my prize Irises, and I seem to be in a position that has no remedy. Now, I know I don’t seem like a fellow that would get all weepy over flowers, but I have a particular affinity for Irises. I’ve been growing them here at TackyToo for as long as I can remember, they have been a source of pride. Now they are a source of fodder for the compost bin as the little twerps decided to play a game of Red Rover, Red Rover, right over my flower bed.

It’s days like these that you question the concept of a just and loving God. I reckon I’ll be discussing God’s love again every Sunday until the Reverend Handbasket goes off the air. Oh, me.

Good morning, y’all. Well last night was a true test of sobriety. It seems that this year’s version of the Bulldogs is going to be a test of faith for all concerned. It didn’t help my nervous condition any that we’ve actually got two sets of Missouri supporters here at TackyToo. I guess I can’t fault them for trying to improve their lot by becoming Georgians, but they should change their team loyalty when they get their Georgia driver’s license. Makes more sense than the silly, “I ain’t an alien business”.

The game started out innocent enough. Missouri won the toss and deferred. We promptly took the ball and gave it back to Missouri on a Greyson Lambert interception. Thirty seconds into the game and Missouri is first and goal from our one. Not the most auspicious of starts. Fortunately, our defense received the memo about showing up for games, and held the line for us. We escaped the interception with just a field goal. Way to go defense. What the hey, offense?

It was either a classic struggle by two very good defenses, or two very bad offenses, or a combinations of each. I’m leaning towards the combination. While the defense played well, they were up against a Freshman quarterback and a hobbled running back. Our pass rush looked much improved, and I believe we were playing all Freshman defensive backs for the last two quarters. Our leading defensive back, Senior Dominick Sanders was ejected for targeting in the third quarter. This left us with nothing but Bullpups in the backfield, but they did fine.

Our lack of offense is becoming, well, offensive. Greyson Lambert doesn’t seem to trust his receivers and certainly doesn’t believe in throwing the receiver open. With Nick Chubb on the sideline we are now playing running back by committee. Fortunately, we’ve got a week off to coach up these young lads before our showdown with the Gators in Jacksonville. At this point I think the coaches should draw on every player who ever won the red and black to come back and offer tips of the trade to this team. They definitely need a spark, particularly on offense.

Offense:

Greyson Lambert was adequate, not horrible. He was 23 of 32 for 178 yards with no  touchdowns and one kick in the crotch interception. Greyson continues to exhibit a lack of comfort in the pocket and a lack of vision.

Sony Michel did his best to take over the productivity of  Nick Chubb and competed well. He finished the day with 87 yards rushing on 26 attempts and added another 13 yards in the air. There seems to be concern he can’t taking the pounding of SEC football, and so we featured:

Brendan Douglas, who finished the day with 24 yards rushing on 9 attempts and added another 15 yards in the air. Brendan is a bulldozer, he is not a finesse runner. Brendan needs to learn that its ok to run over his teammates if that’s where the hole is.

Malcolm Mitchell contributed 49 yards receiving, on just 7 receptions. Malcolm and Greyson seemed to be out of sync as to what play had been called a couple of times. In Malcolm’s defense, he was being held a lot.

Terry Godwin, a Freshman, was the big receiving star with 78 yards receiving, on just 6 receptions. Terry added 49 yards on punt returns in relief of the injured Isiah McKenzie. Terry gives us hope for the future.

Defensive: the Dawgs continue to look improved, and I was very impressed with the Freshmen play. I will say that Coach Richt took a lot more risks in this game than he did with Tennessee or Alabama. I think it was a lack of respect in Missouri’s offense rather than an epiphany involving our defense. It was good to see a pass rush and to hear some names called out, like Lorenzo Carter, who were supposed to be game changers.

Special teams: are our “box of chocolates”. We covered kickoffs well and then embarrassed ourselves on an onside kick attempt. The ball didn’t go ten yards. I appreciate the trickeration, I just expect better execution. Marshall Morgan was 3 of 4 in the field goal department, it took two tries to kick the game winner. Terry Godwin looked good with 49 yards in punt returns. Collin Barber’s punting was adequate, which I guess is the best we can hope for.

Time of possession was tilted in our favor, 39 minutes to 21. Glad the coaches got my memo.

Taking comfort in other people’s sorrow, Georgia Tech lost again. Thank God LSU took care of Florida, setting up a monster game in Jacksonville. I just wish I could be there. Could life get any more interesting?

Good morning, y’all. I’m going to fill my day with busy work while I’m awaiting the 7:30 PM kickoff of my beloved Bulldogs and the interlopers from Missouri. I sincerely hope the boys have gotten all of the bad feelings from the last two weeks out of their heads and are ready to do battle once again. If not, it will be a long night for all of us.

Speaking of bad feelings, and all of my discussion yesterday about the oil “biddness”,  I thought of a natural choice for our date night movie, “There Will Be Blood”. I remember years ago when we went to see the movie at the Bijou in Blairsville. The lady in front of me was just bouncing from one foot onto the other until she got up to the ticket window and asked for two tickets to “Let There Be Blood”. I started getting this Columbine feeling of apprehension going into a movie where this old lady was amped about there being blood. This was long before the shooting in Aurora, Colorado, but I still feel justified at being alarmed at her energy.  I mean, if there’s one thing we’re all sure about, it’s that we don’t know what’s going to set some folks off.

Anyway, I thought a review of the movie was in order in case I missed something the first time out. Mulva, didn’t mind that it was a repeat performance either. She likes Daniel Day Lewis as much as I do. I suspect for different reasons, though.

Daniel Day-Lewis is absolutely one of the top actors ever, and he’s got three Academy Awards for Best Actor to prove it. He won the Best Actor for his role in My Left Foot (1989),  There Will Be Blood (2007), and Lincoln (2012). Winning three acting Oscars puts Daniel Day-Lewis in the company of greats Walter Brennan and Jack Nicholson. Not bad company indeed. In addition to these roles, I particularly enjoyed his work in “In The Name of the Father” and “The Boxer”. Maybe my Irish is showing, but I thought he deserved Academy Awards for both of those roles as well.

“There Will Be Blood” was directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, who has had the good fortune to work with really good people, or that really good people want to work with him. Either way, he has had a wealth of talent at his disposal in his projects. Anderson has made a couple of other really good movies, in my opinion. I think I’ve seen everything he’s done, but I particularly liked “Boogie Nights” and “Magnolias”. “There Will Be Blood” is the pick of the litter of course.

“There Will Be Blood” is supposed to be based off of the book, “Oil” by Upton Sinclair. I like Upton Sinclair very much, but have not read the book yet. I will put it in my bucket list. An Upton Sinclair aside is that he is quoted in the Al Gore movie, “An Inconvenient Truth”. The quote is, “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it”. Truer words were never spoken, and it certainly explains a lot of self serving ignorance, doesn’t it? 

The movie was just as good the second time around, maybe better since I didn’t have to keep looking over my shoulder to see what the “amped” lady was up to. Check it out, you won’t be disappointed.

Good morning, y’all. It is definitely Fall here in the mountains. Temps are supposed to continue to drop this weekend with lows down in the fifties. I love it. There is nothing as invigorating as a Fall morning. I know folks say that Spring is the renewal of life, but for me it’s Fall.

Speaking of renewals, I see where young Jeb Bush has announced another 125 million dollars of contributions to his campaign. “Poppy” and Barbs must have looked under the sofa cushions at the compound in Kennebunkport and decided to throw it all away. I mean, if you can’t take a little discretionary income and use it to buy your child his life’s dream, then what are we all working for? Of course dreaming big is what the Bush family is all about. From Prescott’s attempt to overthrow the government to Poppy’s subversion of the laws in Iran-Contra, the end always justifies the means.

“Poppy”, George Herbert Walker Bush, took his middle names from his financier grandfather Herbert Walker. Poppy grew up in extreme wealth and privilege and went to the finest schools money could buy. After high school, he joined the military and distinguished himself by getting shot down a couple of times while on surveillance missions. Now, around here, we think it’s the heroes that shoot the other fellows down, but not in “Poppy” world. “Poppy” returned home a hero and entered Yale, where he began as career in the secrets business. While at Yale, Poppy joined the secret society, “Skull and Bones”, which later served him well in his tenure as head of the CIA.

Before starting his life in “public service”, however, Poppy had to establish himself as a successful business man. He chose the oil business. Poppy was able to become successful in the oil industry by moving his family to West Texas. If you’ve never been to Midland Texas, let me say it’s not nearly as romantic as portrayed in the TV show, Friday Night Lights. It is flat, barren, windy, and the smell of diesel permeates everything. Only blind naked ambition could carry someone from the scenic beauty of New England to the lunar landscape of West Texas, and apparently Poppy had that in spades. The staunchly conservative Bush found his way working up through the ranks of some of America’s biggest recipients of tax breaks. Dresser, which later merged with Halliburton of Iraq War fame, and Brown Brothers Harriman, took a chance on the young Poppy. Poppy gathered support and knowledge until he was able to drill for oil on his own.

After becoming an oilman, Poppy moved the family to Houston, where he chose, “to give something back”, in the form of running for Congress.  He won a Congressional seat, but lost the race for Senate. Thereafter, Poppy became a perpetual Republican “appointee” until running with Reagan as vice-president. Talk about your matches made in Heaven, a brain dead ideologue with acting skills and a “skull and bones” graduate who enjoyed working his connections behind the scenes to get things done. The Iran-Contra scandal was a perfect example of how Bush managed to maintain “plausible deniability” and stay out of jail for his crimes.

After Reagan shuffled off to Buffalo, it was Poppy’s turn. A glance at wikipedia reveals a few highlights of the the regime of Bush the First: 

• During his election campaign, Bush denied any knowledge of the Iran Contra Affair by saying he was “out of the loop.” But his own diaries of that time stated “I’m one of the few people that know fully the details …” He repeatedly refused to disclose this to investigators during the investigation and thus won the election. (1988)
• Catalina Vasquez Villalpando, (R) Treasurer of the United States. Pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice and tax evasion. The only US Treasurer ever sent to prison. (1992)
• Iran-Contra Affair pardons. On December 24, 1992, George H. W. Bush (R) granted clemency to five convicted government officials and Caspar Weinberger, whose trial had not yet begun. This action prevented any further investigation into the matter. Those pardoned include:
  
  • Caspar Weinberger Secretary of Defense under Ronald Reagan
  • Robert C. McFarlane National Security Advisor to Ronald Reagan
  • Elliott Abrams Assistant Secretary of State to Ronald Reagan
  • Clair George CIA Chief of Covert Ops
  • Alan D. Fiers Chief of the CIA’s Central American Task Force
  • Duane Clarridge CIA Operations Officer

Bush’s legislative scandals include:

• Albert Bustamante (D-TX) convicted of accepting bribes.
• Lawrence J. Smith (D-FL) pleaded guilty to tax fraud and lying to federal election officials  and served three months in jail, fined $5,000, 2 years probation and back taxes of $40,000
• David Durenberger Senator (R-MN) denounced by Senate for unethical financial transactions and then disbarred (1990). He pled guilty to misuse of public funds and given one year probation (1995)^[

Bush’s judicial scandals include:

• Clarence Thomas (R) The Supreme Court nominee was accused of sexual harassment by former employee Anita Hill, but was approved anyway.
• Walter Nixon US Judge. Was impeached by the House and convicted by the Senate for perjury on November 3, 1989.

I should like to point out that Poppy is considered to be the “good Bush”, even Bill Clinton likes him. I mean the fact that he lied to Congress, pardoned the people who could put him in jail, started a war in Kuwait/Iraq to protect his Arbusto oilfields in Bahrain and routinely sold out the American people to his Arab friends shouldn’t lower our opinion of him, right? It’s not like he tried to start a coup like his daddy did.

Good morning, y’all. I’ve just about gotten everything straightened up again here in the Rec room after our Democratic Debate party. Since I expected a smaller turnout than the Republican Debate, I offered to have Chipotle cook up the dinner for us.

I figured an ethnic theme would be a good show of diversity for the Democrats. What I didn’t realize was that the Republicans here at TackyToo will put aside their prejudices for a free meal. I think the Democrat Debate had about ten more folks than the Republican Debates. I am not foolish enough to think that a free burrito will be enough to change a vote, but I do hope that the more xenophobic members of our group will soften their hearts a little for our Hispanic neighbors. I am also hopeful that some of these folks will realize that if it’s not the illegals picking the fruits and vegetables, it’s us. That’s how it’s has always worked, you just need to look at history.

Anyway, the debates got off to a good start, and I’d like to report that the members of our audience were way more respectful than that uppity snot Anderson Cooper. I am so over the media trying to not look Liberal by pillorying the Democrats that I want to throw a shoe at the moderator. The first few minutes of the show were direct, over the top questions to Hillary about non-issues, and then calling in the other candidates to maul her. To the credit of all of the candidates, they resisted the call to act like a pack of republican jackals. At one point, Bernie Sanders got in the one liner of the night in his defense of Hillary by saying that nobody wanted to hear about Hillary’s “damn emails”. The crowd loved it and Anderson Cooper had to pull his tail back between his legs and retreat. Good on Bernie. Even the crowd at TackyToo applauded, they seem to know it’s a Republican red herring.

As I looked over the Democrat field, I thought, three out of five ain’t bad. The Republicans would kill to have sixty percent of their candidates be viable for the top office in the world. I have to admit that my biggest concern is the age of the candidates, with O’Malley being the whipper-snapper at 52. I like my presidents to have a lot to live for, I especially like for them to have school age children. It’s amazing how children can shape a parent’s worldview, even if he or she is president. Maybe being a grandparent will work the same, let’s hope so.

As I saw the night:

Hillary Clinton – it was her night to lose favor, and she didn’t. In fact, the bullying by Anderson Cooper probably helped her. She was well rehearsed, well spoken, and quick on her feet. Even when trapped in a corner she turned the conversation to her benefit. A very statesman like performance and clear proof that this is not her first rodeo.

Bernie Sanders – a stellar performance, it’s just a shame that he was there at Methuselah’s Bar Mitzvah. The high points of his night were the defense of Hillary, and his call to look at the Scandinavian countries for answers of how to benefit the people and elevate all workers. His low point is his defense of the gun industry. Must be his fear of another Holocaust.

Martin O’Malley – another big winner of the night. Flashed his Progressive credentials as Governor and never let off the gas in explaining how a rising tide lifts all boats. I would love to think he would be the candidate and could win against any Republican, but I’m afraid Trump would blow him off of the stage. I’ll be happy with him as number two until the next election.

Jim Webb – hero this, hero that, speaks Vietnamese and apparently never got over the experience of Viet Nam. His Viet Nam vet status probably explains his obsession with keeping China at bay, and what appears to be a strong under current of hatred for the Chinese. Complained all night about being left out of the conversation, and he should have been.

Lincoln Chaffee – I’m a Republican, I’m an Independent, I’m a Democrat, I’m a loser. His best answers were when he parroted others, look for him to fold soon. 

All and all a good night, and hopefully some of my die hard Repubs here a TackyToo will refuse to vote yet once again for their tormentors. We’ll see.

Good morning, y’all. I feel like a line today from an old Beatle’s song. “I got the news today, oh boy”, and what news it was. Apparently, there is at least one other person who is as bummed by their football season as I am, Steve Spurrier. Imagine my surprise to hear the news that the arch-nemesis of Georgia football, the anti-Richt if you will, has decided to hang up his cleats in favor of golf spikes.

I’m not altogether surprised, I must admit. The old boy is seventy, and that’s plenty of time to decide if you can still give it 110 percent every season. Looks like Steve hit 110 percent at mid-point of this season and has decided to step away immediately. There is a great deal of speculation as to why the decision couldn’t wait until the end of the season, or, announce now that this would be his last season. Either decision would have allowed the administration the opportunity to do an easier transfer of power to the new coach, and, provided an opportunity to keep a hold of incoming recruits. While throwing up his hands and saying “screw it” is typical of Spurrier’s no holds barred personality, it does leave speculation for a deeper cause. I hope there are not health issues involved, other than the fact that his heart just wasn’t in it anymore.

Spurrier has been a major success in college football. Starting with his playing days at the University of Florida, where he won a Heisman, to his eventual success with the lowly Gamecocks of South Carolina, Spurrier has always been a force to be contended with. His particular hatred for my beloved Bulldogs has caused me many sleepless nights. His teams at Florida were legend, winning six SEC titles and one national title. Spurrier took particular delight in drubbing the Bulldogs, who always had “better talent”. The “better talent” meme was something Spurrier used at South Carolina, where he was probably right. Whatever voodoo that he had over UGA has hopefully been broken now with his passing.

When Spurrier did have the better talent he showed no mercy, as evidenced by his scoring 50 points on my Bulldogs in Athens. Legend has it that he hated Georgia because they didn’t recruit him during his high school days, and he never forgot. He became a powerful enemy.

Spurrier’s strength was knowing how to coach players. There is no better evidence of his coaching ability than his tenure as head coach at Duke. While at Duke, he took the team to their first bowl game in 25 years, won the ACC title once, and was named ACC Coach of the Year twice. If you’ve ever been to a Duke football game, you were among the few. Duke is not a football school, and they don’t get even three star football recruits. What the “evil genius” did with the talent at his hands was amazing. The same thing is true for his tenure at South Carolina. Lord only knows what he could have done with my Bulldogs.

I hope Spurrier doesn’t get completely out of football. I would love for him to stay around as a commentator. It would never be dull. Here’s a few classic Spurrier quotes on Georgia:

“I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended.”

“Why is it that during recruiting season they sign all the great players, but when it comes time to play the game, we have all the great players? I don’t understand that. What happens to them?”

When asked if Florida would beat Georgia:  “Is Ray Goff still coaching there?”

Good morning, y’all. I am so bummed that I just stayed inside all day today. I didn’t want the sunshine and pleasant weather to make feel better. I just want to revel in my misery until I can get some sign, from the Heavens, or wherever, that the Bulldogs will right the ship. I even took to watching Faux News to try to numb my brain without the aid of alcohol. I’m on the wagon, you know.

Faux news breaking reports have been promoting the idea that a college education is “just not worth it”. Normally, I tune out their drivel, but when total misinformation is pounded into the airwaves every fifteen minutes, twenty four seven, I find it impossible to ignore without comment. Additionally, it seems that in an effort to keep abreast of Faux, CNN, “the most trusted name in news”, has picked up the meme and is doing their part to promote ignorance throughout society.

The logic thread, if you can call it that, is that the amount of student debt encumbered by some degrees does not translate into a quick return on investment. Sadly, the propagandists at Fox only recognize quick turning ROI’s like insider trading or cash laundering. We are to believe from the Faux news reports that an investment that doesn’t return instant profits, like a higher education, is foolish and to be avoided at all costs.

Contrary arguments to their news blurbs are never presented, especially ones that irrefutably disprove Faux’s assertion. For example, an article in  US News and World Report states that, “Those holding bachelor’s degrees earn about $2.27 million over their lifetime, while those with master’s, doctoral, and professional degrees earn $2.67 million, $3.25 million, and $3.65 million, respectively.” “Today’s young high school-only grads earn about 62 percent of what their college-graduate peers earn.” Now even a simple-minded country boy like myself can figure that even with a $100,000 tuition debt at graduation, the $2.27 million looks like a good return on my investment.

There is an argument that can be made that there are certain high earning professions that don’t benefit from a degree. My cousin Rad  has made mid 5 figures annually since high school running the family business. Simmons Sewers and Septic have been proudly pumping bilge in the Atlanta area since 1947. Rad is a third generation pooper pumper, and started his ascendancy to the “throne” in high school. Working after school and weekends, Rad learned the ins and outs of the business before he graduated high school. While Rad’s classmates were listening to SAT prep instructors, Rad was listening to the septic truck’s vacuum pump motor to make sure that the vacuum pump was operating properly. If the pump got blocked, well, things could “go in the dumper” pretty quickly.

Many of us envied Rad’s financial independence. Rad had a new car, always had spending money and was the first one of us married and then to have children. Rad went from high school to middle-age while the rest of us were trying to figure out how to squeeze out six years of parent sponsored independence for our four year degree. Rad has had a good life, and looks forward to the first Simmons graduating college in the Spring. Early on, higher education for his children became a priority to Rad because he wanted them to have a better life and more opportunities.

If the Faux news argument that “a college degree is just not worth it” can so easily be refuted, why are the propagandists so ardently pushing the concept? Could promoting ignorance have a different reward? Could the fact that the ignorant are more easily led be the real end game? I guess we’d have to have some kind of study that proved Faux news viewers were actually less informed than the average American. Oh wait, here’s one. These statistics were documented in a 2011 PublicMind poll conducted by New Jersey’s Farleigh Dickinson University. Sounds like the “news” agency wants to shape policy as well as dumb down their viewers.

I think that great American, Hunter S. Thompson, had Faux News in mind when he said, “The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason.”

Good morning, y’all. Another beautiful day here in the mountains. I reflect on the paradox of being graced with such beautiful weather while our souls are pitched into the foggy depths of despair after the Bulldogs colossal loss to Tennessee. If the weather matched the mood of the Georgia faithful we would be plunged into the darkness of a Siberian winter. Windy, frozen tundras of despair.

On a Liter note, Mulva has come back home from The Full Gospel Original Church of God in a better mood than a while. The Reverend Helena Handbasket has been packing in the initiates like gang busters. The Elders were able to outfit a single wide trailer to the side of the main building to make room for the overflow crowds. The new setup required some specialized carpentry, but they were able to get the job done in six days. Being able to wrap up the work in time for the Sunday service is being perceived by all as a good omen. The trailer added seating for about a hundred more worshipers, and an oddly placed bathroom. We needed that extra bathroom indoors. I’m just concerned that the proximity of the trailer bathroom to the auditorium might create some odd moments. Hopefully, the crowd will be so enthused from start to finish that the sound of people speaking in tongues will drown out any inappropriate noises. 

Mulva reports that the trailer pews don’t have quite as good a viewing angle on the services. To avoid any back biting or infighting for the “good seats”, the Elders have added an audio-visual component to the service. The Reverend Helena Handbasket is now flanked at the altar by two big screen TVs with a Boise PA system. Now, even the folks in the back row of the trailer, will be able to watch the Reverend Helena Handbasket perform her magic in full HD. The comparisons to Carrie’s mom from the movie “Carrie” will probably be even more plentiful now that the faithful will see the whole show in digitized glory. Ain’t technology wonderful?

Mulva reported than the prayer basket was filled with requests for prayers for Nick Chubb, as one would expect, living in our area and all. In case you all are unfamiliar with the prayer basket, let me elaborate. When the Elders walk the aisle passing the plate for the weekly tithe, they also pass a little basket that the parishioners can put in the name of a family member or loved one needing special attention from the Lord. The tithes and prayer baskets are brought to the altar and the Reverend Helena Handbasket would pull out a name or two and offer up prayers on that person’s behalf. If your request was not picked out by the Reverend, the Women’s Auxiliary would go through the basket after church and offer up entreaties for every request. It is a widely held belief, almost a sign, actually, that if the Reverend doesn’t pick your name, that, that person is healing and doesn’t need special prayers. Odd how perceptions become beliefs.

Anyway, imagine the Reverend’s surprise when the first name she pulled out was “Chubbie”. Mulva says the Reverend looked directly at old Mr. Morris and said, “the prayer basket is not to be used for prayers for yourself”. When the second name the Reverend puled out was “Nick Chubb”, the Reverend’s face turned as red as her hair. Mulva reports that the Reverend offered up an impassioned request for Mr. Chubb’s quick healing.

The story gave me quite a chuckle, “judge not, lest ye be judged”, Granny Waller used to say.

The search for Old Ben‘s replacement continues.